Sunday, August 4, 2013

Nightmarish Teabag Adverts Are Stalking Me

I am being stalked by Google's advertising preferences with heinous ads like the following:

{ Now, that's just wrong. }

It's the peril of blogging. I use an an image of ugly teabags in the previous post, "Just Slow Down Already," and now every page is covered in stomach-turning caricatures of the royal family.

Note to everyone: I am from the United States. I am a damned Yankee. I do not follow the daily meanderings of the British aristocracy. I also do not use teabags unless I'm under duress. I'm certainly not willing to shell out $14.99 on joke teabags celebrating (or burying) the current silly batch of royals so I can stare at them while I drink their undoubtedly horrible tea.

Google Adwords apparently does not understand irony nor sarcasm. If I mention or take a picture of, say, Kim Kardashian or Lady Gaga, should I expect to see them on every web page I browse for the next few months?

Dear readers, please, PLEASE do not send me these tea bags as a joke gift. Because then I will be forced to send them to "Cinnabar Gongfu" over at Phoenix Tea, like a fruitcake no one knows what to do with. (I would venture to say, however, that it's somewhat unlikely that they have a full set of British Royals teabags in stock, so maybe I'll be helping them meet a demographic that has been ill served.)

I won't even break the seal on the packaging. No, I mean it.


Unknown said...

Yes, it is quite unlikely. We might care even less about British royalty than you do. (Although, apparently I use the royal "we" when I'm actually only talking about myself.)