Brother, Can You Spare $1700?

It's Christmas, and so my mind turns to ways my reader can make my life even better. And so I present the Confluence Topographic tea table, which you can buy for me at Artonomos.com for only $1700. But act quickly, because the artist only created 100 of these babies.

Nothing matches sharing a cup of tea with loved ones on a picturesque lookout overlooking undulating mountains, winding rivers, and calming lakes. Confluence gives you a miniature version of the experience.

Confluence is a wooden tea tray that serves up to 6 persons. Carved out of Birch plywood, it creates a beautiful landscape like form. The layers of the ply accentuate the undulating landscape through their alternating dark and light seams. A large central reservoir is created by the terrain. Excess tea will naturally flow towards the reservoir and form a miniature lake. As the tea gathers, the level gradually rises just like a lake does when it rains.

The tray has been processed on both sides such that a thin layer remains. The underside of the tray is as mesmerizing as the top. Supported on just four points, it visually floats above any surface.

Must, must, must have.

Yep, just $1700. Christmas, anyone? Anyone? Bueller?

The Cask of Puerh

A FEW WEEKS AGO, my charming, bloody-minded freshmen and sophomores at Valeo Academy cackled with glee at Montresor's antic vengeance over the wine-clotted soul of his frenemy, Fortunato. That is to say, I taught "The Cask of Amontillado," by Edgar Allen Poe: and while doing so, I thought of you, my dear reader. So before I explain why, will you take a moment to click on the caption of the image below and go to the (I promise you, short) story, which you will be able to read in next to no time?

{ E. A. Poe }

Budda Teas: Yerba Maté

{ Indonesian Hotei sculpture }  

yerba maté

Yerba maté is not a tea, but that doesn't mean I'm not allowed to enjoy or write about it. I don't think Happy Buddha would have minded me taking a foray away from Camellia sinensis for a change of pace.

Buddha Teas sells mid-range, commercial-grade teas that seem well designed for the burgeoning American tea-drinking market. They're prepared in organic-looking teabags which are individually sealed for freshness.

Most Americans have never heard of maté, but being happy to experiment, they would probably like what they find. Yerba is caffeinated, rather hip (being Ché Guevara's favorite drink when he wasn't killing people while looking dashing), and containing some good nutrients.

But that's not why we drink it. We drink it because it's interesting and it tastes good.

Buddha Teas does not publish information about where they source their teas and other infusions, which means there's no way to identify the drinks' provenance. But because the market for yerba maté has not been developed in the West to the degree that coffees and teas have been, this is par for the course.

what is this stuff, and why should I care?

Maté derives from the leaves of a South American, evergreen holly tree, Ilex paraguariensis. It's been a staple in South America for—well, forever, it seems.

The Axe (pronounced aché) people of Paraguay first discovered yerba's invigorating qualities. The Axe did not fare well in their interactions with westerners, and their lands have been shrunk down to less than 50 km in a mere two reservations in Paraguay, and they have experienced privations, massacres, and enslavement; along with being confined to reservations away from their ancestral lands. It was during this disastrous period of interaction with outsiders (from the mid-1600s to present) that the Axe shared Ilex paraguariensis, and its popularity spread throughout South America and beyond.

Americans are largely unaware of the ubiquity of yerba maté south of our border. Rich families were known to keep a maté girl on staff, whose job it was to keep the water coming. There's quite an involved process to making an infusion of maté, involving gourds and special drinking straws, which I won't go into here, because it's beyond the scope of the drink I have before me.

{ For the life of me,
I don't know how people can find
vicious murderers cute. }  

I love maté. I was first introduced to this about 20 years ago in a trendy café in Urbana-Champaign, Illinois, at the University of Illinois. A lady was drinking from a shiny silver straw and a chased-silver gourd. I'd never seen nor heard of anything like this before, and I of course had to know more. Yerba maté, I was told. The shop even had the mate, the gourd, and the bombilla straw, which I played with as the shopkeeper kept the hot water coming. Charming, and a completely new flavor.

My kind mother-in-law purchased a mate gourd for me with its bombilla, but I find I can't get the hang of the slightly gourdesque flavor that I've not yet successfully driven from the instrument, alas. So I'll make my maté in a china gaiwan, from which I can easily scrub the aromas so they don't affect subsequent steepings. For this experiment, I'm using my usual teacup, a Russian podstakannik and its glass, for the maté. Not exactly kosher, but who's to know? The result is not nearly as strong as a South American's experience, which I've found to be a bit much for my wimpy tastebuds.

the cup

Buddha Teas sells their yerba maté in its roasted, rather than green, form. Their roast style is quite light, making for a quite airy cup. Pale green in color, lightly fragrant, the brew is remarkably unlike the more heavily roasted stuff I'm used to.

The teabag (matébag?) is kept freshly in its packaging, though I don't know how long it was in other
packaging until finally deposited into its bag and sealed. Boiling water, about 5 minutes steeping time (longer than what I would allow for a similar amount of tea, but because there are no tannins to deal with, bitterness is not an issue).

The end result is a young flavor, green, light, like flowers on water. If you haven't tasted yerba maté before, I don't know how to describe it to you other than this: It's similar enough to tea to make you compare them, but different enough that the flavor profile is surprising and unexpected. Clarify much? I thought not.

I think I'd like the brew more if it had been stronger, sharper, more biting, more complex. The flavors are pleasing, though, and ones I was happily familiar with from earlier experiences with maté. The presentation of maté given by Buddha Teas is similar to that of a white tea, with aroma and lightness being the primary characteristics.

Thank you, Buddha Teas, for giving me an experience of your yerba maté. I wish you well in your business!